I think that being at school equates in my life to depression and a bitter hatred for everything. I was in a fine mood today, even on the car ride to school. Then, I walked into my dorm and immediately snapped into the reality of what the next 2.5 weeks will entail: being awkward, listening to James talk on the phone about the Oscars, spending many, many hours at the library not because of my workload but because of the failing functioning of my brain, smelling James' farts, living in a pile of dust and lint from James' towels, and listening to the sound James' phone makes when it is dying.
I make fun of James a lot, but at the same time I almost admire him because in spite of his 400poundedness, smell, and stutter, he is somehow happy. He embraces his bizarreness to the fullest extent.
I cannot believe that I just put James and admire in the same sentence. My entries have become a little more philosophical lately simply because I do not have enough energy to employ my dry sense of humor anymore when no one reads this. By philosophical, I of course mean boring as fucking shit.
Right now, I am tired but realize that I will not be able to fall asleep when I lay down to go to bed and I also am dreading the three classes that I have tomorrow for which I am extremely unprepared. In spite of my dread, I also do not give a shit at the same time. I suppose I am ambivalent, though I am not sure if that is the proper usage of that word. I do not have "strong feelings in opposing directions", I basically just have two feelings that result from my laziness.
I really, really hate taking Spanish. I'm not very good at it, I know that I'll never be able to speak it, and I don't like the people in my class. Though, the people in my psychology class truly raise the bar of heinousness. The other day I was leaving class and I heard a girl go up to the teacher after class and, after the teacher praised her for her obnoxious amount of participation, she said, "I just really have an interest in knowing how people think and work. Psychology IS my major, so I really take it seriously." I only listened to those two sentences before my brain threw up on itself and I had to leave the room. I fucking hate people. A few classes later that same dumb ass-licking bitch corrected me after I said something that was wrong about APA citations when she wasn't even asked to. Her voice is extremely nasal too. People who major in psychology go beyond all boundaries of annoying and reach into a new dimension of absolute intolerability.
Enough about that, though. I'm getting sick of the people who live next to me. By "sick of" I mean that I planted a bomb in their room. Okay, I'm just kidding. But, every night at 1 AM they never fail to be dicks which makes me want to chop their heads off.
Side note: James literally smells like 10 day old macaroni and cheese that has been left out in the sun and then shat on. Well, I guess not shat on. That's probably just a remnant from his most recent fart.
I suppose that I have now cleared my mind.
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