The Analysis of My Own Heinousness

I just typed an entry that was incredibly pathetic and self-loathing. Then I realized that I didn't care because no one reads this. Now I regret erasing it.

Over the weekend I split my head open on a dry wall. I was trying to jump from one bed to another and, apparently, it wasn't as impressive of a display as i had hoped it would have been. I had to get six stitches. I also have an enormous black eye that is finally starting to open and a huge popped blood vessel in my eye. Overall, I look really good.

I should be studying for my Human Bio exam that I have tomorrow. I spent about 6 hours in the library tonight, most of which I spent wondering what happened to my brain cells that used to allow me to study for tests in about an hour. Currently, I am thinking of ways to murder the people who live in the dorm next to me for being so obnoxiously loud consistently at about 1 AM every night.

I also have triggered a part in my brain that makes me extremely nervous over the past few months. I become particularly nervous in social situations (this has actually been going on for years). I have lost the ability to carry on a conversation and I know that it is because of my own heinousness, not the heinousness of others. Although, others can be extremely heinous, however when I'm not being heinous I am able to realize that and not really care about it. Please do not spend any amount of time trying to comprehend the absolutely fucked up mental processes that I expressed in detail in the last few sentences. I think I should go to a psychiatrist.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, my "social anxiety" (I did some googling and now think that I have it). As much as I resent others in so many ways, I often find myself trying to talk to them (and sounding really retarded at the same time) just so that they do not have a negative opinion of me. I also find myself very awkward when I'm alone with my semi-normal-except-for-the-projectile-vomiting-incident roommate. He really is normal, actually, but for some reason I am trapped in a shell of my own heinousness (word count for "heinousness" in this entry: 3 times) and cannot converse with him. It is extremely frustrating and I find myself trying to point out things about him that are heinous in order to make myself feel better about my own heinousness (4 times).

Overall, my brain has been engaging in some really fucked up activity that has prevented me from doing a lot of things. Maybe I left a majority of my brain cells on the dry wall that I face-planted into or something. Or maybe having to listen to James on a daily basis has started to eat away at my brain. I haven't decided yet.

What will I even write about on this when I no longer live with James? He has become such an integral part of this little journal that no one reads! I will have nothing to write about, I'm sure, because nothing in my life can provide any form of writing. Except, of course, my heinousness.

Anyway, I will stop writing this entry now because I think that I have crossed the line from "self-loathing" and "pathetic" to "shut the fuck up you stupid self-absorbed asshole".

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I Had To Document This Moment In Time

I'm back at school. With James. Need I say more? Yes.

James is listening to a band called "Peaches". Their songs are as follows:

"Shake your dick, shake your tits"

"Fuck the pain away" (Or "Sucking on my titties"...whichever you prefer)

"Slapping that dick all over the place"

Now, I believe I have said enough.

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One More Week

I am approaching my last week of vacation, and I honestly don't think that there is anything more horrible than that. Except, of course, the absolutely frightening appearance of Carson Daly.

In one week I will return to my life as it is at college which consists of 1) Guitar Hero, 2) James, 3) James snoring, 4) James farting, 5) James getting out of the shower and walking around in only a towel, 6) Sitting at my desk and wondering if James is really human, 7) Bad food, 8) Bad teachers, 9) The smell of pot, and finally 10) Constantly being surrounded by other people.

I think I'm going to go kill myself now. Goodbye.

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My New Years resolution is...

My New Years resolution is to become a more interesting, entertaining person.

It will require a lobotomy.

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A Merry Christmas it is!

I haven't showered in days, my room is dirty, I haven't finished my Christmas shopping, I have been in pajamas for almost 24 hours, my stuff on eBay isn't selling, I am addicted to playing "Jetman" on Facebook, I just received my yearly email from FutureMe.org and realized that I have accomplished nothing in the past year, I've been watching Everybody Loves Raymond on a daily basis, and my iPod is still broken.

The amount of activity that has taken place in my brain over the past ten days has been so low that I should be considered comatose.

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Just In Case You're On Acid...

Just in case you're on acid, I've created a new theme to make your trip a lot more enjoyable.

In other news, I am home for 5 weeks. Five incredible, mouth-watering, James-less weeks in which I will be staying up every night until 3AM watching On Demand and sleeping every day until 1.

I really know how to make the most out of life.

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Once Again, Thank You James!

James has been straightening his hair lately. His reasoning: "I want to look more Asian."

Once again, I find myself speechless.

Also, I have now formed a fairly strong addiction to Guitar Hero. James bought the latest edition (which is pretty much the only good thing he's done since I've met him). I have mastered the "easy" level and am in the process of mastering the "medium" level. My goal for the week is to become a novice at the "hard" level. I'm sure you're happy to hear that along with soaking up every ounce of the college experience, I've also set some extremely productive and impressive goals for myself.

Lastly, if James follows me to the school cafeteria ONE MORE TIME I think that I'm going to literally throw myself under a bus en route. Every time I go to leave the room he asks, "Are you going to eat?" If I say "Yes" he then says "Oh, can I come with?"

The answer, James, even though I'm far too fake of a person to say this to your face, is a definite NO. NO action that involves ME being in the presence of YOU is EVER okay.

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